Baby Lulu’s Story

September 24th, 2012 by Sofia

Hi, after ttc to conceive for 4 1/2 years with pcos i finally fell pregnant naturally! I had a lovely and uncomplicated pregnancy until 6 months where i noticed some fluid! I ignored it thinking it was probably my bladder but somewhere at the back of my mind i knew there was something wrong. 2 days later on the day i was meant to get a glucose test i experienced a gush of fluid, instantly knowing what it was i rushed to the hospital and got a bed! The nurse checked my cervix for pooling and looked at me ans nodded her head. She said she was very sorry! While i thought my baby had died my mother was having her panic attack! Turns out my baby was fine but with the hind waters broken i was to stay in until i gave birth as i was 2 cm dilated and had bulging membranes. After being given 2 steroid injections and being shifted to chelsea hospital. Just when it looked like my pains were going to subside i started my labour pains and voila! Delivered a beautiful just above a pound baby girl! Which was such a shock since i felt like would have a boy. She was perfect at 25 weeks and was doing really well. 2 weeks later when everything seemed well i decided to buy some shoes since walking to see my baby proved too much for my primarks! Instead if taking my train to hammersmith i accidentally got on the train to my angel! I thought ok! Lets see my baby for a while, buy my shoes and come back! When i reached the hospital i saw that i had a missed call from them. I knew there was something wrong. I rushed to her, and while i washed and sanitized my hands i could see her oxygen levels were up from 21% to 99%. funny considering when i had called in the morning i was told my baby was the most stable baby in the unit! When the nurse looked at me, the only thing i wanted her to say was she is ok.. Instead i see her worried face sounding, the doctor wants to speak to you. When i entered a private room waiting for the doctor i wondered at a painting, and that took up most of my excruciating time. My darling daughter suffered from NEC. After a grueling surgery, they inserted a bovine line, cut her bowels and left them in, showed no life. 2 days later they recovered 75 % of her bowels and what seemed like a horrible time became a joyous one! The next day her bovine started leaking, she suffered a cardiac arrest, she stopped urinating hence become unrecognizable. Me and my husband hoped she would at least urinate! My husband had a theory where god wants to give her all the things a preemie could suffer so that she won’t have to deal with anything when shes older! The day we went home for a good night sleep, we received a call from the hospital telling us how they have been trying to revive her after she suffered a cardiac arrest and 9 adrenaline shots. 5 minutes later they called again to say lulu suffered another cardiac arrest and multiple Organ failure. Its been less then 2 months since she left me. It is so hard. So painful. But it really does get easier with time. My lulu is with god and if given the option she would be with him
Then me. I know shes probably really mischievous! I love you my lulu and mama loves you my baby, mama knows she will see you again inshallah!

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